An Open Letter to the Person Who “Never Ceased to Love Me”

Hi. I know you are a fan of always going zigzag before hitting the target, but I’m sorry; I won’t do this your way.

I never expected that this would happen again — you sending me a message, telling me you never had ill intentions, and actually trying to make me believe how much you still love me. I felt your frustration whenever you read my cold, heartless replies. (If it bothers you… I am not happy that you are frustrated; I don’t feel anything actually.) It seemed to me that you’re expecting me to take a bite of your sandwich. Really. After all you did, you expect me to believe you? Oh. Wait. You didn’t know what you did? Come on. You ditched me, remember? Yes. You. Not me. You. Ditched. Me.

I do not know why you’re suddenly trying to insert yourself again in my life but one thing’s for sure: we can never go back to the way we used to be. Don’t worry, my dear; I have already forgiven you, myself, us. It’s just that you and me are parallel lines now — we can go on and on and on trying to establish a relationship but we can never arrive or meet at the same point. We are over. What’s done is done. Let go. I am happy where I am now and I hope that you are too.

Without wax,

The woman who used to care for your happiness more than hers

PS

Stop being an asshole; start being a man, being a better version of yourself.

Nobody: Less is More

What would you suggest to attain contentment?

This was taken from a stack of ice breaker question cards. Reading this, I found myself answering the question by asking myself more questions — At this point in my life, what makes me feel contented? Am I already contented? Do I know exactly what will make me feel contented? Is contentment a temporary feeling or is it something eternal?

As this is an ice breaker question, I needed to give out an answer right away. I’m not good in answering impromptu questions like this, (Aside from my height, this is one of the reasons why I cannot join a pageant. Haha!) so I’ll redeem myself here.

Aside from the pile of questions, the next and only thing that popped in my mind is the line from Jennifer Lynn Barnes’s book, Nobody: “But maybe, to be more, you have to give up trying to be anything at all.” Less is more. We all want to have more than what we have and to be more than who we are right now. We always think that having and being more — shopping, being promoted at work, closing big deals, being elected as the club’s president, winning the best (insert title here) award, et cetera — will make us feel contented. I beg to disagree. I think that, maybe, one should let go of his earthly, needless desires. We need to learn to define our needs — our true needs. We must learn to draw a thick line between needs and true needs and a thicker line between needs and wants. By doing so, we can see and focus on what really will make us feel the perpetual contentment and ingenuous happiness we’ve always yearned for.

5 Tips on How Not to Move On

I don’t know why you don’t want to move on. But I’m typing this anyway.

1. Do not unfriend him. Do not unfollow him.* Read his status updates and tweets then assume he’s thinking about you too, most especially when the update denotes happiness and love. You want to be updated first hand so be a good stalker. Add him to your list of Close Friends so you’ll be notified whenever he posts a photo of his meal or his new kicks. And whenever he checks in a place where you two went together, reminisce the memories.

*If he already unfriended and unfollowed you, use all your resources to get updates. Stalk your common friends’ profiles for his tagged photos and statuses, his exchange of comments with friends and/or other people. Amplify your radar coverage.

2. Do not delete his number on your phone. (Better if you can memorize his number.) Keep his number listed as your ICE. In case you decided to try stopping your breath, the paramedics can alert him. You wouldn’t like to lose the idea that maybe he still cares for you and that he’ll come rescue you and hold your hand while you’re in limbo. Keep him on speed dial. You can always “accidentally” dial him when you’re doing a game of drunk calling or when you want to send someone (him) a booty call.

3. If you’re not anymore friends on Facebook, change your privacy settings. Make/keep your profile and all your posts public. Of course, you are hoping he’s stalking you and you want him to know whatever’s happening to you, whether it be happy or sad. You want him to still be a part of your life, right?

4. Go see him (again and again and again) in person. Using your superb stalking skills, obtain a copy of his schedule. He does not need to see you; you just need to see him. What’s a better way to reminisce those memories than to see the person whom you made those memories with?

5. Never try to forget. Suppression is not for you. Always remember the details of his face — his almond-shaped deep brown eyes, the scar on his left jaw. Hug that teddy he gave you for your first February 14 together. Sniff the hanky he left in your bag. Put the dried petals of the flowers he gave you on a frame then stare at it. Stick a photo of you as a couple on the ceiling above your bed; start and end your day staring at how happy you once were.

After all these, ask yourself why are you still sulking and crying, why are you still depressed and why are you still not letting go. I may not know why but I assure you that you deserve to be happy and to feel loved. What’s done is done. Ex-lovers are like disposable undies; you cannot reuse them. Pick yourself up. Love yourself. Make sure you’re whole again for, yes, again and again, you cannot give something you do not have. You do not want to commit the same mistakes again. Forgive yourself. Earn back that self-respect which flowed away with the tears you shed. Go forth and be happy. Nobody’s responsible for your happiness but yourself. Lastly, pray. Pray that God grant you peace in your heart. As the famous word art says, “Let go and let God.”

31 Things To Do Before I Reach The Adult Diaper Stage

Few days ago, my friend, J, told me she’s trying to learn Portuguese. I laughed and asked why. She said to learn a foreign language is a part of her bucket list. (Haven’t seen her list but based on her personality, I believe her list is full of cool stuff) I wondered… how come I reached twenty-one without ever having my own bucket list? Bet almost everyone my age has their own. So, well, you guessed it. I’ll be blogging about my bucket list! Or more of things-to-do-before-I hit-the-adult-diaper-period list.

  1. Ride or at least see the interior of an armored vehicle. Is it cool with high-tech features? Is it too cold inside? Is it really bullet-proof? Is it hard to drive? Please don’t tell me to Google photos of it. I want to see it first time in person.
  2. Be a gasoline girl for a day. I don’t know why.
  3. Make a cotton candy. ‘Cos they’re cute and fluffy and sweet and fancy. Maybe I should ask one of those cotton candy vendors around my alma mater to let me try their cotton candy maker.
  4. Travel abroad. Of course.
  5. Have my own oven and learn how to bake. Because baking is precise and is more difficult than cooking.
  6. Flaunt a beach body. No. Not actually. Just have a beach body. My tummy is a big stubborn fat.
  7. Learn some bad ass contouring and highlighting! It’s like magic. Like a temporary plastic surgery. (Not that I’m a fan of cosmetic surgery.)
  8. Have a mini library. Breathing books.
  9. Drive a really long and big truck. It’s amazing how truck drivers drive in reverse and drive on narrow roads perfectly.
  10. Watch Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson (again) live. I’m a loyal KatyCat.
  11. See a bus/truck-turned home in person and take a “ride” in it; or better yet, live in it.
  12. See the Eiffel Tower in person. Who doesn’t want this?
  13. Travel alone. I just think that travelling alone will benefit one so much — yknow, a lot of me time, having your self all by yourself. (What. Did I even make sense.)
  14. Visit as many science museums as I can (local and international) because science is so awesome.
  15. Send and receive postcards to and from other countries. It’s old school and it’s fun.
  16. Own not a house but a home.
  17. Ride a hot air balloon. One of my childhood fantasies.
  18. See this in person ‘cos it looks so damn cool in photos.
  19. Take a photo with one of United Kingdom’s red telephone boxes.
  20. Ride an elephant.
  21. Join a triathlon. Or just running and cycling ‘cos I am no expert swimmer. I just want to give my lungs and heart a chance to prove that they don’t suck.
  22. Visit Japan and Korea. I want to understand why Filipinos love Japanese and Korean culture so much.
  23. Go on a cruise. European, Asian, Mediterranean, wherever. I just want to be on a cruise. I checked Princess Cruises and oh. Their site told me an Asian cruise will cost me at least half a million.
  24. Adopt a kitten. I’m happy with my fish but they’re not as interactive as cats so…
  25. Visit Bali and find out the reason why Tyra Banks loves Bali so much.
  26. Learn or at least try surfing.
  27. Get lost in the city. Yknow, driving somewhere unfamiliar, wasting gas, creating my own adventure.
  28. Go to the mall and shop ’till I drop using my hard-earned, one-month salary.
  29. Own a pair of Christian Louboutin. Because every girl should have one.
  30. Learn Spanish and use it.
  31. Ride trains of different countries. Riding the train makes me happy. I wonder if there are still trains that have upholstered seats — the ones I see in the movies.

Well I guess these are all for now. I really hope I can do these all before aging hits me.

14 Things I’m Thankful For

I ended last year with a to-do list and I am very happy to let you know I’ve ticked all the check boxes on that to-do list! Yay for me!

I want to end this year not with another to-do list (because I want pretty much the same things) but with a list of little things I’m thankful for. 2013 hasn’t been really great; I just want to end it on a positive note.

  1. Mom. Despite every thing that’s happening to her, she never failed to be a mom to me and to my brother. She really is one of the strongest persons I have ever known.
  2. Medium complexion. I don’t get why people laugh at me because of my skin color. Yes, at my age, people around me still tease me — people older than me, actually. I am happy with my complexion and I’m proud of it. I’m not doing anything to lighten it. I’m not a fan of today’s society’s standards of beauty.
  3. Friends. Because they’re there when I don’t need them, when all I want is just to sit down and to have parallel play. I believe that’s a wonderful thing. Being with your friend while reading a book or playing a single-player game on your iPad is so much different compared to doing it beside a stranger.
  4. Location of our house. Our house is located in the not-so-metro part of Metro Manila. We’re actually closer to Bulacan than to Manila. It gives me so much hassle going to and from places in Manila but I’m still thankful because we’re not on the fault line and we didn’t experience the floods caused by the major typhoons that hit the Philippines these past few years.
  5. Spiritual Inspiration on Tumblr. That blog just gives me so much hope and well, of course, inspiration.
  6. Dad. I think it’s really not easy to be the one whom people depend on. He’s amazing. He’s a hero. Plus he gave me my asset — my cleft chin. *wink*
  7. Books. Why did I ever deny myself of books when I was younger? Books are like really magical. They take you to places you’ve never been or probably, wonderful places you’ll never see.
  8. That nice jeepney driver. Here’s the story: I rode the jeep with my friend. We took the front seats. While we we’re enjoying the breeze on our faces, a woman suddenly crossed the street. Earphones in her ears while looking at her phone’s screen so she didn’t notice the jeep approaching. The nice jeepney driver hit the brakes while holding my left arm, acting like a seat belt. Impact was hard that my face could have hit the windshield. End of story. Thanks to Mister Driver for saving the windshield from my sweaty face. Or I guess for saving my face from the hard glass.
  9. Big nails. I just feel like I’m getting more than what I paid for whenever I go to the salon and have my nails done — bigger nails = using more nail polish, paying the same amount. I know this is funny and shallow. Haha.
  10. Benhur Luy. Or to whoever is responsible for bringing Janet Lim-Napoles’s secrets out of the closet.
  11. Drive to a healthy diet. This drive is not really easy to maintain especially when pizza, bacon, ice cream and chocolate start to use their powers to seduce you. My friends tell me it’s amazing that I can eat every thing in moderation. Would you believe that my total junk food intake for this year can only fill a small bag of Lay’s and my total soda intake is approximately just one liter?
  12. Brother. He’s too good in cracking me up. I always look forward to weekends; I can only see my brother during weekends because he lives in an apartment near school and only goes home during weekends. I hate it when he spends weekends doing school requirements. I know I’m clingy but I really just want to spend more time with him. He’s really fun and cool and smart. (How many times did I say “weekends”?)
  13. People who walked out of my life. I appreciate them volunteering to leave. Saved me from the effort of discovering how much I do not need them.
  14. Fats. They keep me warm.

Well, I guess that’s it. Can’t think! New year vibe excites me so much. Wishing you guys a more fruitful 2014!

Food Review: Family Mart’s Twirl-All-You-Can Ice Cream

As promised, a different flavor. *wink*

Family Mart is a Japanese convenience store franchise chain. It first opened in Japan on September 1981. It has branches all over Japan and in different countries such as Thailand, South Korea, Vietnam and even US. (Source here) April this year, Family Mart Co., together with Ayala Land Inc., decided to open branches here in the Philippines. If not mistaken, the first Family Mart branch here is in Glorietta.

Last Friday, Marco and I paid Family Mart MRT Ayala Station branch a visit. I told him Family Mart has Twirl-All-You-Can Ice Cream for 15 Php. We didn’t have dessert after dinner so we tried it.

Two thumbs up for the twirl-all-you-can thing because (1) it’s cheap and (2) you get to enjoy dispensing ice cream into the cone. Family Mart granted one of my childhood dreams. Mehehe.

Marco and his ice cream

Not bad for a first-timer, Marco!

I didn't expect mine will look better than Marco. Haha! :P

Looks like I’ve got myself a new career — ice cream girl. Haha!

Twirling is cool! Since it’s self-service, you can fill up the whole Belgian waffle cone without leaving spaces for air then twirl and twirl ’till forever. Plus I felt like a five-year-old girl playing with ice cream. Tee hee.

df

My cone was so heavy! I felt like I gained weight immediately after finishing my treat! Haha!

The ice cream is obviously vanilla. It’s creamy and has a fruity vanilla taste. It’s sweeter compared to other vanilla ice creams that I have tried. The Belgian waffle cone on the other hand is big, crunchy and has a light sweet taste. Don’t forget to buy a bottle of water if you plan to fill the cone like I did! Spare yourself from sore throat.

Overall, the ice cream experience is fun. I just hope that they add ice cream flavors so it won’t be boring. They can also offer add-ons such as marshmallows, candy-coated chocolate buttons and strawberry syrup at a fair price.

As an ice cream lover and a child at heart, I will definitely go back for another round of twirling. 😉

Food and Restaurant Review: Mang Inasal

Mang InasalMang Inasal is, according to their website, the Philippine’s fastest growing barbeque fast food chain, serving chicken, pork barbeque and other Filipino favorites. I am not a fan of Mang Inasal but I have visited a lot of different branches during my college days. Why? Because (1) their food is student wallet-friendly; (2) they have this unlimited rice promo running all year round which is perfect after an exhausting school day and; (3) they are strategically located in places where my college classmates and I go to finish our school requirements. Mang Inasal is literally everywhere. During those times, I felt like there’s no other choice but Mang Inasal.

Review time! Food first.

I think their best seller is their chicken so let’s start with the chicken. Taste-wise, their chicken is good. Their recipe tickled the Filipino palate really well. Downside of the chicken: not uniformly cooked. Every visit, the chicken feels different. Well, they all taste the same but they’re not cooked the same. Sometimes, the chicken is over-cooked, sometimes under. I have even encountered a raw chicken! What a shame. Sometimes, the chicken is juicy but most of the time, the skin of the chicken is burnt and the inside is dry. There is a big difference between charred and burnt. A couple of times, aside from being dry and burnt, I have been served a cold chicken. It seems like the chicken has been sitting in the kitchen for a long time, waiting to be served. How dare you serve food cold when it’s not supposed to be cold. It’s chicken barbecue; not hainanese chicken. Huhu.

Chicken

Yes, their chicken may be “two in one sa laki at sarap” but are these two the only factors that we have to consider?

Aside from chicken, they also serve Puto at Dinuguan. My first order of Puto at Dinuguan was good — perfect balance of flavors. But again, they are not consistent. Sometimes, they serve Dinuguan which is more sour than the usual. The only consistent thing is the Puto. It’s moist and has a very light flavor that complements the strong dinuguan taste. As for dessert, they have turon split and leche flan both are not impressive — very small serving. Their menu also isn’t impressive — not a lot of choices. (See menu here)

Okay. Enough with the food. Restaurant naman.

Every Mang Inasal place I have been to is hot and messy. Are we tight on budget and we have to cut down on electrical expenses? The aircon doesn’t seem to function at all. Or wait, it does. FAN MODE. Huhu. Yeah, I get the grilling thing which could make the place hot but I have been to other restaurants whose grilling process do not affect the temperature of the dining area. The tables, chairs and floors are messy. It’s like someone spilled soy sauce or chicken oil, people stepped on it and nobody cleaned after the mess. The three condiments on the table (chicken oil, vinegar and soy sauce) are messy and sticky too. And most of the time, they are not complete. I mean not all three are on the table. You have to tell the staff first that you need this and that before putting the staple condiments on your table. The crew are not friendly too. Sungit. And they can’t keep up with the unlimited rice promo. There were a couple of times that my friends served themselves the rice refill just because the crew were too busy handling whatevers. There were a couple of times too that we helped ourselves get a bowl of soup. They should have posted a “Self-Service” sign somewhere inside the dining area.

Obviously, overall, considering all the branches I have visited, I am deeply disappointed. I will never pay Mang Inasal a visit again.

*Disclaimer: Photos are grabbed from the Internet