An Open Letter to the Person I Never Expected

06 July 2014

Hi. It’s 04:26 in the morning and I am here writing you a letter. You may find this letter-writing thing bizarre, but I’m writing this anyway.

As much as I want to tell you these things in person, I am not a good speaker; not that I’m a good writer, but I think I’m better in writing than in speaking. Shall I begin?

Trying to break the wall, you managed to plant a hole in it. It felt queer when the light from outside first bled through the hole but as the days went by, the heat of the light became a familiar feeling — it wasn’t burning; it was comforting. You must be a blessing.

Thank you for carrying my excess baggage with me. It isn’t easy to be with someone who seems to have lost hope. It isn’t easy to lift someone who’s very dragging, someone who seems to have forgotten how easier it is to walk forward than to run backwards. It isn’t easy to make someone who chose to fake smiles put on a genuine and innocent curve on the face. It isn’t easy to be with me, but you stayed. It isn’t easy to lift me, but you carried me like I am weightless. It isn’t easy to loosen my strings, but you managed to make me wear the smile I hid for years.

Thank you for taking things slow – slower, even. When I told you I’m not yet in for something deeper and more serious, you said you’d wait ’till I’m ready. You said you don’t care how long it takes for me to put myself together because no matter how long it takes, you’ll wait for me. When I told you I’m scared, you held my hand tight and told me, “It’s okay; I’m with you.”

Thank you for singing, “But I could be the guy to heal it over time, and I won’t stop until you believe me ‘cause baby, you’re worth it” after every time I sing, “People make promises all the time, then they turn right around and break them. When someone cuts your heart open with a knife and you’re bleeding.”

Thank you for showing me how a real gentleman should be, for showing me the right way how men should treat women. Thank you for helping me earn back the self-respect I lost. Thank you for making me feel my worth again, for pulling me up from the quicksand of poor self-esteem that I made and got myself into.

I can’t put my walls down… not yet, but one thing’s for sure: I want to spend more tomorrows with you.


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