5 Tips on How Not to Move On

I don’t know why you don’t want to move on. But I’m typing this anyway.

1. Do not unfriend him. Do not unfollow him.* Read his status updates and tweets then assume he’s thinking about you too, most especially when the update denotes happiness and love. You want to be updated first hand so be a good stalker. Add him to your list of Close Friends so you’ll be notified whenever he posts a photo of his meal or his new kicks. And whenever he checks in a place where you two went together, reminisce the memories.

*If he already unfriended and unfollowed you, use all your resources to get updates. Stalk your common friends’ profiles for his tagged photos and statuses, his exchange of comments with friends and/or other people. Amplify your radar coverage.

2. Do not delete his number on your phone. (Better if you can memorize his number.) Keep his number listed as your ICE. In case you decided to try stopping your breath, the paramedics can alert him. You wouldn’t like to lose the idea that maybe he still cares for you and that he’ll come rescue you and hold your hand while you’re in limbo. Keep him on speed dial. You can always “accidentally” dial him when you’re doing a game of drunk calling or when you want to send someone (him) a booty call.

3. If you’re not anymore friends on Facebook, change your privacy settings. Make/keep your profile and all your posts public. Of course, you are hoping he’s stalking you and you want him to know whatever’s happening to you, whether it be happy or sad. You want him to still be a part of your life, right?

4. Go see him (again and again and again) in person. Using your superb stalking skills, obtain a copy of his schedule. He does not need to see you; you just need to see him. What’s a better way to reminisce those memories than to see the person whom you made those memories with?

5. Never try to forget. Suppression is not for you. Always remember the details of his face — his almond-shaped deep brown eyes, the scar on his left jaw. Hug that teddy he gave you for your first February 14 together. Sniff the hanky he left in your bag. Put the dried petals of the flowers he gave you on a frame then stare at it. Stick a photo of you as a couple on the ceiling above your bed; start and end your day staring at how happy you once were.

After all these, ask yourself why are you still sulking and crying, why are you still depressed and why are you still not letting go. I may not know why but I assure you that you deserve to be happy and to feel loved. What’s done is done. Ex-lovers are like disposable undies; you cannot reuse them. Pick yourself up. Love yourself. Make sure you’re whole again for, yes, again and again, you cannot give something you do not have. You do not want to commit the same mistakes again. Forgive yourself. Earn back that self-respect which flowed away with the tears you shed. Go forth and be happy. Nobody’s responsible for your happiness but yourself. Lastly, pray. Pray that God grant you peace in your heart. As the famous word art says, “Let go and let God.”


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