It took me a long time before I realized how much I don’t need you and how much you don’t deserve me. Not. I already knew about it; I’m just in denial.
You were so kind and caring. Your words were too sweet, your smile was too enchanting. You held me in your hands like you’re never letting go. You got me into thinking that you and I would make good a couple. I thought I need you. I thought you’re the one who would save me in this quicksand of negative emotions I’ve gotten myself into.
My friends keep on telling me that I’m just wasting my time on you ‘cos you are a complete coward asshole. But of course, blinded by your words, smile and fake love, I refused to believe them.
We never had a label but for sure, I know you know we acted like we were in a relationship. You even told me how great I am as a girlfriend. I hugged you, you stabbed my back. I held your hand, you crushed mine. I gave you my heart, you gave me something… what, wait, you call that love?
Finally, one day, it sunk in — I don’t need you to be happy; you don’t deserve the kind of love I can give nor I deserve that very little grain of affection (if affection is the right term) you’re giving me. I realized I’m better than this. I was reminded how much I know myself — what I want and what I need. I’m not gonna sell myself short. I need not to settle for anything less than I deserve. That moment, I felt strong. For the first time in my life, I learned to say no and to walk away. I am not the woman who you thought I am.
So I guess it’s goodbye. No; it really is goodbye.